Adoption (Kafalah) & Children in Islam

“In Islam we are reminded that the prophet Mohammed (a.s) himself started his life as an orphan, and that his spiritual journey began when he witnessed the murder of baby girls by his fellow Meccans.”

In Islam we are always reminded that the prophet Mohammed (a.s) himself began his life as an orphan, and that his spiritual journey began when he witnessed the murder of baby girls committed by his fellow Meccans. The welfare and protection of children is at the very heart of Islamic thought and prayer and daily conduct. To seperate a child from it’s parents is such an extreme measure and is so fundamentally cruel, we only ever consider any seperation in the context of Kafalah (community adoption) when a child happens to be orphaned. I will talk about this further in other posts.

Here is some guidance in how to raise children in Muslim conduct:

First of all: Islam prohibits rejoicing on the news of birth of a male child and not rejoicing on the news of the birth of a female child.

1. Give gifts to your daughter(s) first.

2. Play with your children. This has an important effect in the training and nurturing of your child. Our leaders in Islam have stressed the importance of this issue, and recommended it highly to Muslims.

It is narrated from the Prophet: “The person who has a child, should behave like a child with him.” It is also narrated from Imam Alī (a.s): “Anybody who has a child, should, for his/her training, bring themselves down to their level of childhood.”

3. Do not hit your child when they cry, because it is narrated from the Prophet (a.s): “Do not hit your babies since their crying has a meaning. The first 4 months of crying is professing the unity of Allāh (SwT), the second 4 months of crying is sending blessings upon the Prophet (a.s) and his family and the third 4 months of crying is the baby praying for the parents.”

4. Kiss your child. It has been narrated from one of the Imāms that: “Kiss your children a great deal because for every kiss, you will be granted a Divine heavenly rank which would otherwise take 500 years to achieve!”

It is also narrated that a man once came to the Prophet (S) and said: “I have never kissed my child.” The Prophet (a.s) said: “Surely a man like this will be a resident of the fire of hell.”

5. By saying Salām to your child, build their sense of personality and character. If youngsters say Salām, it is obligatory for elders to reply; however, it was a characteristic of the Prophet (a.s) to say Salām first, whether to elders or youngsters.

6. Do not ridicule the actions of your child, nor call them silly.

7. Do not order or forbid your child too much, as this emboldens them and leads to rebellious behaviour when older.

8. Build your children’s chracters by respecting them. We read in traditions that the Prophet (a.s)  prolonged his sajdah until his grandson came down from his shoulders, and at other times he recited Ŝalāt al-Jamā°at faster as he heard children of praying mothers crying. Likewise, Imām °Alī used to ask his children questions about religious matters in the presence of others, and even passed on people’s questions to them to answer.

When parents don’t satisfy the natural urges and desires of the child, the child then resorts to wrong ways and means (often linked to sin) to try and give himself the necessary push to build his sense of self and importance. Personality, independence, will, self-trust, and likewise, weakness, baseness and lack of self-trust are all characteristics the foundations of which are in the lap of the father and bosom of the mother. A child who has not been treated like another human being or a valuable member of the family cannot be expected to have a well formed personality in adulthood.

9. Keep your promises. Keeping promises in Islam is a sign of one’s faith, and Allāh mentions it in the Qur`an. Keeping promises is one of the pillars of the prosperity of mankind and one of the best qualities of one’s Akhlāq, its base lying in one’s raising and training. It is narrated from the Prophet (S) : “Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”

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Links:

Haiti’s Stolen Children
http://newsjunkiepost.com/2014/06/14/hommage-to-my-mothers-restavek-vodou-and-haitis-stolen-children/

Political Cover-Up of Paedophile Gangs in UK
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/07/07/a-big-political-cover-up-of-1980s-pedophile-ring-in-u-k-parliament/

Stop Forced Adoptions
http://www.forced-adoption.com/

The Forced Cesarean and Adoption Case in the UK
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/15/pacchieri-baby-adopted-forced-caesarean-case-uk

How Australia still wrecks Aboriginal families
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/mar/21/john-pilger-indigenous-australian-families

Mega-charities wreck Aboriginal Communities
http://brisbaneblacks.com/2014/05/19/mega-charities-killing-aboriginal-people/

The Native American Adoption System
http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2011/12/06/native-americans-expose-adoption-era-and-repair-its-devastation-65966

Private equity buyers line up for shares in UK National Fostering Market
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/banksandfinance/privateequity/8886088/Private-equity-buyers-line-up-for-National-Fostering-Agency.html

The Child Migration Scheme 
http://www.childmigrantstrust.com/

Mega-Charity Barnado’s role in the Child Migration Scheme
https://www.opendemocracy.net/ourkingdom/clare-sambrook/oranges-and-sunshine-childrens-charity-barnardos-must-learn-from-past-mist

Against Child Trafficking (very good information on corporate/NGO child trafficking)
http://www.againstchildtrafficking.org/

Islamic Legal View on Adoptions
Kafalah, Adoption
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_adoptional_jurisprudence

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